We spent a week a few weeks in New Zealand where I learned about a pernicious invasive species: Lord of the Rings Film Locations.
Tag: new zealand
Over 80% of New Zealand has been terraformed for sheep. The country’s health is still measured by the sheep-to-human ratio. At one time it was almost 40 to 1. Today it is 5 to 1, mostly due to increases in the human population, genetically-modified monster sheep, and Lord of the Rings Film Locations.
Here is the hotel where we stayed on our third night in NZ, a place called Bag End. It was kind of dump, to be honest. I kept hitting my head and the bed was too short. Then we had an infestation of dwarves.
The oak tree above Bag End is actually fake! Apparently the original died between Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit, so Peter Jackson had it recreated out of fiberglass, using silk for the leaves and wiring them to the branches. Love it!
Spotted some fake flowers in Hamilton. According to Floral Image’s website, “Fresh is not always best. Over an average 5 year lifespan, Floral Image lifelike flower arrangements are 80x better for the environment.”
Now this is sort of forward thinking we need. Way to go NZ! Any day now I expect a study that says fake humans are 80x better than fresh ones.
How are hobbit holes made? First an entire hill is removed and a concrete dome is constructed in its place. Then the hobbit quarters are assembled underneath the dome. Finally dirt and sod are piled on top, blending the dome seamlessly in with the surroundings hills.
Tour guide at the National Kiwi Hatchery talks about kiwi habitat loss because of deforestation, urban sprawl, and Lord of the Rings Film Locations. Luckily we don’t have to worry about these problems today.
Lousy photo of some Maori paddling a waka down a fake river. Why were they paddling so fast? They were trying to escape a Lord of the Rings Film Location.
Not sure why the hobbits needed Sméagol’s help to find Mount Doom. There’s obvious signage.
Te Papa Museum in Wellington had this amazing display that contained all the base species considered native to NZ. . . sort of a New Zealand starter kit.
With the exception of bats, there are no mammals in the display. So in this primordial version of Aotearoa (some imaginary pristine NATURE that only exists in a Kiwi’s brain), mammals don’t exist. Hence any critter that stowed away and slipped onto the island (with the exception of cattle, sheep, and a few tolerable pets, of course), are considered invasive. Stouts, ferrets, possums, rats, bunnies, etc. are public enemy number one. They must be eradicated.
A treewalk built into a small grove of redwoods near Rotorua, NZ. . . so if you’re sick of the Lord of the Rings franchise, you can come here and pretend to be an ewok.