the website of Mark S Bailen. . . writer, illustrator, and fake-nature photographer
monkey trying to decide when it’s safe to cross the street. . . . how about now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now? Now?
At one time there were almost sixty Rainforest Cafes. Now there are sixteen? The one in Tempe is vaguely apocalyptic. The fish tanks are cloudy and contain no fish. The plastic vines are faded and dusty. Many of the animatronics only half work. One of the gorillas kept twitching and giving Nazi salutes. And the menu is full of food that you’d only order when drunk at 2AM at Denny’s.
It felt weird having animatronic elephants and gorillas watching me eat. I kept waiting for them to say things like, “are you gonna eat that?” and “please pass the ketchup.”
When you exit Rainforest Cafe, you walk past Nile the Crocodile. . . weird. . . I could have sworn that there were four kids there a minute ago. Anyway, I felt lucky to escape.
I’m so glad that Casa Bonita is back open in Denver. So much to love about this place–fake palm trees, theme-park cabanas, an old west mine, Black Bart’s cave. The lava-rock waterfall is a masterpiece, with its diving ledges, balcony seating, underwater lighting, and secret viewing locations. Fake nature done right.
The fake rocks are so revered at Casa Bonita, that they have a mariachi band dedicated to playing to them.
finally, proof of an advanced civilization, living deep in the jungle. . .
Bear discovers mini-monolith at the Berlin Zoo. . . Also some nice fake rocks, a mix of real stone and concrete.
The inside of the Empire of Cats at the Berlin Zoo had this modern concrete brutalist bunker feel, with spurious explosions of nature. This style shows up often in zoos. I was so mesmerized by the space, that I didn’t even look into the enclosures.
I’m sorry for this lousy photo, but this was by far my favorite exhibit at the Berlin Zoo. It was called Eagle Canyon and it was nothing remotely like a canyon (the tunnel is a tower?). It was a wonderfully messy fake mountain constructed out of real stones atop which mountain goats skirted dangerously on the edges of little cliffs. The critters were very active and I watched them for a long time. If you look close at the photo, you can see 4-5 of em. The exhibit also had a path over the mountain for humans to traverse with a fake little chalet and a place where the mountain goats crossed below. Eagle Canyon was tucked in the middle of the zoo and hardly anybody visited it, a hidden gem!