the website of Mark S Bailen. . . writer, illustrator, and fake-nature photographer
At one time there were almost sixty Rainforest Cafes. Now there are sixteen? The one in Tempe is vaguely apocalyptic. The fish tanks are cloudy and contain no fish. The plastic vines are faded and dusty. Many of the animatronics only half work. One of the gorillas kept twitching and giving Nazi salutes. And the menu is full of food that you’d only order when drunk at 2AM at Denny’s.
The nature center at Rio Formosa Natural Park had schlocky displays of 2D paintings, propped in glass cabinets, masquerading as dioramas. These were some of the saddest attempts at fake nature that I have ever seen. Still, according to a sign, the reserve was doing good things. Maybe saving a seahorse? And protecting the habitat of a wild purple chicken? I couldn’t quite understand the Portuguese. They also had a pretty neat exhibit on fishing boats, if you are into that.
somewhere in the bustle of Terminal E in the Dallas Fort Worth airport can be found this forgotten little aquarium, surrounded by stanchions with retractable safety belts. . .
the main tank had a sea turtle, a little shark, and bones from a mysterious prehistoric creature. . .
fake waves at monterey aquarium… pumped over a glass wall every thirty seconds to simulate the real waves less than fifty yards away… the nice thing about standing under the fake waves, is they let you imagine being underneath a tsunami
don’t worry about rising ocean temperatures… in the middle of Nebraska, people are working hard at SAVING THE REEF