the website of Mark S Bailen. . . writer, illustrator, and fake-nature photographer
More hotel eco-babble, this time from Korea. I love the word salad on this one. Green stay. . . deep concern. . . a small practice for environmental protection. . . and of course, the ideal confection for wayward environmentalists. . . artificially-flavored strawberry mentos.
I had never been to a Rainforest Cafe, but while walking through the Arizona Mills mall, I realized that the restaurant filled an entire bingo card of topics for my website. Fake nature, wildvertising, greenwashing, crapitalism, vaguely apocalyptic. . . all in the same place? Wuh? So my wife and I braved the lush plastic jungle and now I’m convinced. . . Rainforest Cafe is a portal to hell.
Somewhere in the depths of the Rainforest Cafe is this buff dude, painted in gold, rising out of a hot tub, and holding a neon globe that says, RESCUE THE RAINFOREST. Sure, why not.
The motto of Rainforest Cafe was A WILD PLACE TO SHOP AND EAT. No argument there. The gift shop was bigger than the restaurant. While waiting for our drinks, I came up with some other mottos:
Why do hotel rooms push environmental messaging? Not only the consumables that supposedly save the planet, but also the requests to reuse towels, and the soaps/shampoos that claim to be organic and responsibly-sourced? This low-level eco-noise and subtle finger wagging is a sneaky way to tell guests that they should be resource conscious. They should not blast the AC, leave the water running, steal towels, throw the TV out the window, etc., etc.
There’s no better way to greenwash than black Helvetica on a white background, as if you’re using less resources by going generic. It taps into some eco-hipster vibe. These should be drank while tooling around on a scooter on Koh Phi Phi.
Locally sourced solar power? I’m glad to hear that Sacramento isn’t sourcing their solar power from Tau Ceti. (This joke is for the astronomers out there)
The Audubon Aquarium is reducing plastic with their tote bags. . . and healing the earth with their t-shirts. So you can stop worrying about the environment. We’re all good.