so, I spent a week in Bali where I got to experience DREAM EARTH ALIVE FUTURE. . . or DEAF for short. . . Probably from the sound of all those motorbikes.
Category: vaguely apocalyptic
I had never been to a Rainforest Cafe, but while walking through the Arizona Mills mall, I realized that the restaurant filled an entire bingo card of topics for my website. Fake nature, wildvertising, greenwashing, crapitalism, vaguely apocalyptic. . . all in the same place? Wuh? So my wife and I braved the lush plastic jungle and now I’m convinced. . . Rainforest Cafe is a portal to hell.
At one time there were almost sixty Rainforest Cafes. Now there are sixteen? The one in Tempe is vaguely apocalyptic. The fish tanks are cloudy and contain no fish. The plastic vines are faded and dusty. Many of the animatronics only half work. One of the gorillas kept twitching and giving Nazi salutes. And the menu is full of food that you’d only order when drunk at 2AM at Denny’s.
We visited a grocery store in Badajoz with a prosciutto-slicing station. I still can’t decide if seeing the slicer in action helped me see where my food comes from. The store had giant hyper-clean aisles and smelled of cleaning solvents. Nobody spoke and social distancing was in full effect. The Spaniards were dressed in their usual black, somber leather. And here’s this woman in the center of the store with her metal cuffs, working like a surgeon on a pig’s leg. I felt like I was in a video for some 90’s industrial band.
Human grade food for pets. . . Finally!
the old Hayden Flour Mill. . . home of the apocalyptic baking company. . .
the fire decided to only burn the bottom half of a small fir tree. . .
In Lopburi, a town north of Bangkok, some parts of the city are controlled entirely by monkeys. Now nothing against the monkeys, but they have really let the place go to hell. The infrastructure is crumbling, law and order is absent, and the citizens crap wherever they please.
To alleviate the fears of the humans, the Omaha zoo boasts about the strength of their gorilla glass.
The strange and incredibly humid Lied Jungle at the Omaha Zoo with its fake waterfalls and realistically painted trees (Tim!) and cement catwalks. The alga and mold are now taking over and the paint is fading, giving the place a strange Le Corbusier post-apocalyptic vibe. Also, it seems to attract a lot of moms wearing track shoes and pushing strollers. Very weird place.